


SPOT KIDS: RAINBOW

by sarangx



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Asexual Character, Changlix if you squint, Coming Out, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Pride, Sexuality, everyone adores jeongin, minsung if you squint even more, this is inspired by the fact skz were seen at pride in ny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 03:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15210137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarangx/pseuds/sarangx
Summary: Jeongin’s super excited about Pride, but he’s a little nervous considering the fact he’s only come out to his mom.





	SPOT KIDS: RAINBOW

Jeongin’s eyes shine with the light of the computer screen. The monitor hums steadily as he clicks through the website in front of him, his finger pressing lightly atop the touchpad. He bites his lip and his fingers fumble with themselves as he continues his task. When he’s done, he abruptly freezes.

“Asexual Pride Cityscape iPhone Case,” he murmurs under his breath. His eyes shine with awe and he doesn’t register the fact his mouth is hanging open a bit.

The screen before him shows the summary for an iPhone case—it’s a gradient of black, purple, white, and grey, reminiscent of a city at night. There’s even a moon and shooting stars at the top. The right side reads the price of 16,744 won, and Jeongin isn’t sure when he pressed the button to add the item to his cart. He quickly undoes the action, however, and jumps back as if he had been scalded by acid.

He sighs and steals a glance at the door a little ways away. His hyungs are loud in the main room, their yelling and laughing reminding him he’s not alone in the dorm. He chews on his lip again and turns to face the computer screen once more, his finger dragging the mouse to the red X at the corner of the window to exit the page completely.

“Stupid,” he whispers to himself with a shake of his head and another hefty sigh. His heart feels heavy in his chest and he kind of feels like crying, but he’ll save that for another day—a day when he has the silence of the entire dorm at his mercy.

“Jeongin-ah!” A shout comes from outside the closed door; it sounds like Chan. “Stop playing games and come eat with us!”

“Coming, hyung!” he yells back, forcing his voice to stay firm. It works, so he supposes all the vocal training had been worth it.

Jeongin looks back at the computer, their team logo glowing back at him as the desktop wallpaper. He smiles a bit when he remembers that Chan hyung had created it himself.

He shakes his head and forces himself out of the chair he had been seated in for a bit longer than an hour. He cleans up his thoughts and makes his way to the dining room.

  


“They’re having a Pride parade in New York after KCON,” Felix is saying excitedly when Jeongin enters the room. “I’ve seen pictures and it looks so fun! We should totally check it out, hyung!”

Jeongin quietly slips into his seat between Woojin and Minho—both of which who smile kindly at him. He returns the gesture, his eyes curling into crescents. Minho ruffles his hair and Woojin chuckles fondly at the boy’s grin.

“I don’t know, Felix-ah,” Chan says, “we might not have time. And I’m not sure if the staff would let us go out on our own like that.”

Eating silently, Jeongin tries not to show his interest in Felix’s idea. Jeongin has heard of the pride celebration in the States and the U.K., but Korea has yet to treat the LGBT community so kindly. From what he has seen online, though, it looks like a blast. Everyone always looks so happy and proud in the photos, their faces painted in pinks and whites or blue, purple, and pink or all rainbow. They hold signs and wave flags and kiss in front of everyone. To see so many sexualities showed off with such confidence was definitely a shock, but it also causes Jeongin to feel a bit wistful. Going to Pride has only ever been a dream he kept to himself, cleverly stashed in the farthest reaches of his mind. But now, when he’s faced with the opportunity to actually attend, he isn’t so sure he would.

“I’m sure we’ll be fine, hyung,” Minho speaks up suddenly, bringing Jeongin out of his thoughts. “We can just tell the staff we’re gonna explore the city.”

“So you’re suggesting we _lie_ to them?”

“Hyung, even we know lying is bad,” Hyunjin chides from the other end of the table with a cheeky smile. “Aigoo, such a bad influence, this hyung.”

“No, no!” Minho objects quickly, a laugh sputtering from his lips as he waves his hands to clear the misunderstanding. “I’m saying we should check out the pride parade _while_ exploring the city. Aish, why do you guys think so lowly of me?”

“It might be because you cheat every time we play Fortnite or Overwatch,” Changbin deadpans, still chewing as he points one of his chopsticks at the older. “Seriously, hyung, why _wouldn’t_ we think lowly of you?”

“He’s got a point,” Seungmin adds without looking up from his bowl of beef bone soup, picking lightly at a piece of brisket floating atop the broth.

“Guys, really-”

“If we have time, we can go check out Pride for a bit,” Chan cuts the dancer off. The leader looks serious, but Jeongin can see how one side of his lips is threatening to perk up into a smile.

“Yes!” Felix cheers, his chopsticks clattering to the floor from his enthusiasm as he throws his hands up to clap. His eyes have disappeared into narrow sunsets, eyelashes caressing his freckles as he grins widely. “C’mon, Binnie hyung, we need to go buy rainbow flags from Amazon!”

Before Changbin can protest, Felix grabs his wrist and pulls him away from the table. The older boy shouts incoherent Korean that sounds oddly similar to curses, tripping over his feet at Felix’s quick pace.

While everyone else laughs at the couple’s antics, Jeongin can’t help but bite his lip in worry. He’s not sure how he’ll get out of this.

  


A couple of weeks later and Pride is swiftly approaching. After they perform at KCON next week, they’re to be sent straight off into the city of New York—to Pride. Jeongin has yet to think of a plan and he’s nervous.

Sure, he knows his hyungs are kind and are even in the LGBT community themselves—Minho’s bisexuality could be sensed from across the globe—but Jeongin knows there’s a prejudice against asexuality in particular. He knows what he is and he wants to wear the title proudly, but he’s not so sure if he’d be able to, even in a Pride parade. The LGBT community has a good portion of people who don’t think asexuals belong in Pride or in their community at all. Jeongin knows this, so he’s scared that he’ll offend other people.

He also has yet to come out to anyone besides his mother; she had taken it well enough, save for a few questions and a furrowed brow. Jeongin isn’t sure how his members will react, though, so he’s hesitant.

“You look stressed, Jeonginnie,” a voice cuts off any more of his thoughts. He looks up; it’s Jisung. “What’s on your mind?”

“Ah, nothing, hyung,” Jeongin says easily. He gives a small smile, too.

“C’mon, maknae,” Jisung whines, a pout forming on his lips as he sits next to the younger on the couch. “Tell hyung what’s wrong.”

“Ah, it’s- it’s just…” Jeongin stutters over his words and looks down at his nails to pick at them. “I dunno if I should go to Pride.”

Jeongin remembers reading the debate over what the A in LGBTQIA+ meant; he suddenly feels queasy as he recalls the memory. People had been so unaware of asexuals that they had assumed the A meant ally. Aphobes had dared to agree with them, but the entire extended acronym had fallen short. In the end, no one uses the acronym, anyway.

“But- but hyung…” he mutters aloud, looking up at Jisung. “That- that’s not what I- I just- I’m not straight.”

Jeongin had already started regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth. His eyes widen immediately after he stutters out the mess of a confession. He can feel his arms prickle with goosebumps and he knows his skin is turning paler, too. His mind is too frazzled to realize he had neglected to close his mouth.

The older member isn’t much better; Jisung’s eyebrows have shot up to under his bangs, almost disappearing completely. His mouth has formed a surprised ‘O’ and his eyes are as big as saucers.

“You- you’re not?” he manages to get out. He blinks his eyes rapidly to try and faze back in. “Then you’re still not out? Why- why didn’t you tell us? Why _wouldn’t_ you go to Pride?”

“Jisung hyung, um, I- well-” Jeongin is tripping over his words again but he can’t help it, “-I just… it’s really hard.” His heart is hammering in his chest and he can taste blood from how harshly he’s gripping his lip between his teeth, but it’s all he can do to ground himself.

“It’s okay, Jeonginnie,” the other soothes, having fully recovered from the previous shock. His eyes have softened substantially. “I know it’s hard, but just try it out with me, okay? I won’t tell anyone. It’s up to you who you come out to.”

“Okay.” He says it almost inaudibly, but it’s the best Jeongin can do right now; he’s trying to find the courage to finally tell one of the members his sexuality. Jisung hyung wouldn’t mind, would he? He’s pan after all, and pansexuality is still a bit controversial. Jeongin sighs and gulps. “I’m a-asexual. I’m ace,” he breathes out quietly. He doesn’t look up from his fumbling hands.

Suddenly he’s surrounded by warmth and lavender clothing detergent. Jisung’s arms have enveloped him and Jeongin is trapped on all sides, but he can’t really say he minds all that much.

“Jeongin-ah, that’s fine,” Jisung says into his hair, his breath causing it to flutter. “I’m so proud of you for actually telling me. I know you feel like an outcast in everything, right?” He moves back to face the younger—Jeongin’s eyes have started watering but he’s trying to ignore it. He nods at Jisung’s question. “But listen, you belong in the LGBT community, okay? You’re valid, Innie, don’t let anyone else try to say otherwise.”

The tears have started falling, and now they drip steadily over Jeongin’s cheeks. He sniffles and chokes on a sob, his hand coming up to wipe at his eyes in a futile attempt to rid himself of the tears. He didn’t realize how much he had needed to hear this.

“Maknae-yah, stop crying,” Jisung says sadly, a frown on his face as he holds Jeongin’s head to thumb away the tears the younger hadn’t caught. “You’re gonna make hyung cry, too.”

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Jeongin whimpers, sniffling again and closing his eyes to try and fight against the onslaught of tears. “I- I just really- really needed to hear that.”

Jisung pulls the singer into his chest, wrapping his arms around the other’s torso. He makes sure there is no room between them as he sets his chin on top of Jeongin’s head.

The maknae reciprocates the gesture; he stuffs his face into Jisung’s neck and sniffles once more, feeling gross but also comforted against the warm skin of his hyung. His arms latch onto the other’s waist, squeezing tightly as he tries to bury himself into the warmth of Jisung. Like this, he knows everything will be okay.

 

Even though coming out to Jisung had been a success, Jeongin is still nervous. The members might have different opinions and it could form tension in the group, and he didn’t want that. He didn’t want anything to change—besides seeing Changbin and Felix making out—but it was very likely things would. They might become more cautious around him and act as though they were walking on eggshells, and Jeongin really didn’t want any of his hyungs to feel uncomfortable around him.

But he knew that coming out was the best thing to do. Maybe then Hyunjin would stop asking Jeongin about his love life; maybe Chan would stop wiggling his eyebrows at him whenever he’d stare at a fan a little too long; maybe Changbin and Felix would control themselves a bit better around him.

Realistically, Jeongin knows his hyungs are kind and accepting people. He knows they’d probably respect his sexuality and what that entails. But it isn’t so much about logic as it is other possibilities. His anxieties pile up and he’s forced to think them over so much that the logic gets overshadowed and forgotten. The thought of revealing his sexuality isn’t quite as scary as seeing his hyungs leave him. It’s what he fears most and he doesn’t like to dwell on it—coming out can be a life-changing thing, after all, and it could make or break a friendship.

But Pride is in two days and he’s running out of time. Jisung keeps encouraging him and tries to reassure him that it’s okay, and though it isn’t helping much, Jeongin appreciates him for his support and the fact he hasn’t told anyone else. It gives him some courage and more space to breathe. Still, his nerves remain frayed.

After he helps Seungmin and Changbin unload a bin of acrylic paint, though, he swears a lightbulb clicks on above his head when a thought strikes him.

 

“Hyunjinnie-yah, could you _please_ stop trying to stuff as many flags in Felix’s hair as possible?” Chan calls in exasperation, rubbing his temples to calm an arising headache.

Hyunjin startles, eyes wide as he guiltily looks up at the older. His hands are still poised above Felix’s platinum hair, a small rainbow flag tucked between his fingers and ready to join the other three.

“Sorry, hyung,” he says with a sheepish grin. He pulls away from Felix and quickly takes out the flags buried in Felix’s hair.

“Awh, we were having fun, hyung,” Felix whines with a pout.

“We only have so much time, Felix.”

The younger Australian relents with one more huff. He settles further into the couch and hugs his knees to his chest as everyone gets ready around him.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Jeongin is staring anxiously at his reflection in the mirror. He’s already wiped off his make-up, so now his bare face looks back at him. There are a few pimples and the skin around his nose is a little dry, but as he drags his fingertips along his cheeks, the rest of his face feels smooth and clean.

He lets his hand drop to his side. After inhaling deeply, he bites his lip and glances at the small tubes of face paint sitting on the sink. Purple, white, grey, and black—the asexual colors.

Jeongin stalls a bit more, shuffling his feet and picking at his nails before he finally works up the courage to reach for the black tube. The label is in English so he can hardly decipher what’s in the paint, and he’s not sure if it’s even supposed to be used on skin, but he manages to squeeze out a dollop of it before he can psych himself up any more than he already has.

It’s cold on his palm and it’s a bit thicker than he was expecting, but Jeongin doesn’t mind that much. He’s too busy worrying over the reactions he’s going to get when he’s done with this.

He dabs his finger in the paint on his opposite hand, wincing slightly at the texture before he swipes the color on his cheek gently. He concentrates on himself in the mirror as he continues, each swipe careful as he constructs a neat row for each color of the asexual flag.

At the end of it, his cheek tingles and his hands are messy with four different colors, but he’s happy with the little flag on his cheek—only about two inches wide and one inch tall. It’s small but still visible.

“Jeonginnie, hurry up! We’re leaving soon and some of the hyungs are complaining about needing to pee,” Seungmin calls from outside the door, knocking a few times.

The maknae stiffens and quickly washes off his hands—luckily it seems the paint _was_ okay for skin—before he unlocks the door and comes face-to-face with Seungmin.

“Ah, sorry hyung—”

“You’re ace?”

The question is only said with surprise, and the older’s eyes are wide as he takes in the colors on Jeongin’s cheek. They’re indeed very, very visible. Jeongin rocks on the balls of his feet nervously.

“Yeah.”

Seungmin smiles then, soft and genuine, and he pats Jeongin’s shoulder kindly. It’s a small gesture and it doesn’t seem like much, but Seungmin’s always engaged in smaller actions to get his feelings across. Jeongin knows the older supports him.

He doesn’t say anything more, instead choosing to walk back to the main room where most of the members are. Jeongin follows after him, fidgeting slightly as his thoughts start back up. They only stop when Seungmin reaches for his hand and squeezes it with his own; his nails are pink, yellow, and blue and glint in the overhead lights. Jeongin idly thinks that he quite likes them.

“Oh my goodness! It looks great, Jeonginnie!” Jisung squeals when he catches sight of the two youngest walking into the room. It causes all eyes to turn to them, and thus, for Jeongin to freeze up at the attention.

He isn’t sure what he’s expecting; yelling, maybe—or incredulous eyes and accusatory fingers. His members may be sweet, but he can’t help but be a bit wary of their reactions. He’s only come out to two people, after all—three, if he counts Seungmin—and although they’d all gone well, there are still doubts that cloud his head.

“Omo, omo, our maknae is ace!” Felix shouts out, officially squashing all remaining insecurities Jeongin has.

“Oh~ Jeongin-ah! The colors look so good on you!” Woojin says with a grin. He walks over to ruffle the younger’s hair despite the latter’s protests.

The other members all give their kind words and supportive motions to show Jeongin that he’s accepted. He feels relieved and loved and adored all at once; it’s almosr overwhelming. He actually tears up a bit, but before he can cry, he’s being tugged out the door by Seungmin while Jisung chatters on about a new track he and the rest of 3RACHA have been working on. Jeongin feels warm, and he lets his excitement bubble over because finally, he’s going to Pride like he’s always wanted.

 

**Author's Note:**

> hey follow me on twitter @ckyjh pls i need friends  
> also sorry for how shit this is whoops


End file.
